“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”
I have a negative voice that loves to come out at night and replay all of the imperfect things I did or said during the day. Most people can reflect, learn from the experience and let it go. I belittle myself until I am ashamed. One of the remnants of my past that I'm still unlearning.
I love Pig in Pearls Before Swine because he reminds me of myself. I read this comic last year during a difficult time, and I cut it out to put on my fridge. It's yellowed with age now, but when I see it every day I smile.
In the strip from the day before, Pig said the hippo reminded him of his grandma, so I started calling her "Grandma Hippo." I told my daughter, "I wish I had a Grandma Hippo to hug me when life gets hard." It became a code word in our secret language for needing extra love and hugs.
My daughter surprised me with a Grandma Hippo for my birthday. She sits by my bed. Usually I don't notice she is there, but when life gets too hard and the voice in my head gets too loud, I pull her down and hold her.
In those moments I am reassured that the day is done and I have done everything I can. I smile, the voice fades, and I sleep as contentedly as Pig sleeps in Grandma Hippo's arms.