My Leap List

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Pretend I'm Amazing

     It is such a strange feeling to realize how much you you are loved.  This week my niece told me that I am her role model.  It's been hard to wrap my mind around this huge compliment.  I am so good at seeing all the weaknesses and flaws I have, I wonder why she would see me as her role model.  As I struggled with this amount of love, my daughter told me, "You know, she has always felt that way about you."  I am awed and humbled that she would feel that way about me.  
     I spent Thursday morning with a cute boy with autism.  Though we just met, he wrapped his hand in mine.  I was New Guy and we made paths in the wood chips and talked about dragonflies.  It wasn't until later I learned that this cute boy didn't like new people and rarely went over to strangers.  What trust to put your hand in the hand of a stranger and let them into your special world. 
      There are two reasons my life gets unbalanced.  The bright side of my motive is wanting to do anything for the people I love.  The dark side is trying to be worthy of being loved.  They look the same in my life, but they have very different effects.  When I am coming from a place of love, I feel alive and send bright energy into the universe.  When I come from the darkness, I resent the demands on my time and make people feel like they are burdens on me.  Balance also comes from my motives, not just my actions. I will choose to do things for the people I love and stop doing things from a need to be loved.  These two beautiful souls reminded me that I am worthy of love because of who I am, not what I do.   

1 comment:

  1. This is awesome..."I am worthy of love because of who I am, not what I do." We are worthy of love because we were born. It begins there. Sometimes it is hard for me to grasp this thought. Thank you for sharing! Take care.

    Peace, Nico