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Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Breath Before the Grace

     Darkness and light dance endlessly through my life.  I know I can't live without the light, but I forget the darkness gives my life meaning.  Wisdom comes by looking back and seeing the patterns of grace through my darkest moments.  Lost in my darkest moments, feeling I cannot take one more breath, grace shines through, and I breathe deeply.
     John's mental illness is a dark abyss for all of us, but every time I fall into despair, grace brings him home.  These brief moments give me the strength to face the darkness with him.  No one should have to walk through Hell alone.
     Nick's ghosts surround him and keep him from ever feeling totally safe in his life.  Grace brings him a dry sense of humor and an empathy for everyone that leaves me speechless.  Just being around him makes me feel peace and quiet joy.  He brings grace to my life every day.
      Mandy's health keeps her bedridden for days at a time, but her spirit is undiminished.  Her empathy for others runs physical, but she would rather hurt herself than see the people she loves in pain.  Her sensitivity helps her understand people better than they understand themselves.  Her writing is poetic and tragic and beautiful.  She gives me strength and beauty in my life.
     After crying myself to sleep on the darkest nights, the sun not only rises, but a beautiful sunrise to remind me that there will always be a breath before the grace.  I am never alone.

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