My Leap List

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Gift of Mandy

     Watching her walk towards me, I catch my breath.  After sixteen years, it is still so hard to believe that I have this beautiful girl in my life.  She longs to be an adult, to be on her own, to be independent.  It isn't a rebellion as much as wanting to stop being an inconvenience for everyone else.
     I don't know where this feeling comes from. Somewhere along the way I've taught her to stifle her needs until she feels guilty for doing something fun for herself for a change.  I wish I knew a way to change what happened, but I wouldn't even know which moments to go back and fix.  They were probably sprinkled throughout her days until they became her truth.
     This girl has my soul.  I would do anything for her.  I never knew the depths of love before she chose me as her mom.  I wish she knew that every moment with her is a joy, never an inconvenience or a burden.  It never even crosses my mind.  I am thrilled to spend time with her, even if it is driving her downtown to meet her friends for a day of fun while I go shopping.

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