My Leap List

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Charlie Brown Teacher Voice Saved Me Tonight

     Today I am letting go of two things, and they both involve you, as much as me.  The first one is letting go of what you think of me.  Yesterday I let go of what people thought of me jogging in my virtual shower cap.        
     Tonight when I got home from job #2, I checked my e-mails and was stunned to see all the responses to yesterday's post.  I was literally frozen with anxiety.  Especially the one from Colleen Wainwright.  "What if she's mad I posted to her page?  What if she hated it?  What if people are disgusted by the thought of a short, fat Tiff jogging in broad daylight?  What if..."  It was bad.  Uggghhh!  Which is exactly why I need a year to practice letting go.   
     Of course, your supportive and inspiring e-mails and posts made my day.  Until 11:03, when I started thinking about tonight's blog topics.  Immediately the critical voice in my head started up.  "There's no way you can top yesterday's blog.  They'll know you're a one-hit wonder.  What do you have to say, anyway?  Nothing important happened today.  You didn't learn anything.  Why would they think you are inspiring?  They would be disappointed if they met you in real life."  
      A few months ago, the voice would have paralyzed me for a week, at least.  Tonight I said, "I am letting you go critical voice in my head."  (I really talked to myself like that - Yay!  Go me!)  I think the voice replied, but I played the Charlie Brown teacher voice as background noise and started to write.  
     So here is tonight's lesson in all it's imperfect glory.  Day three and I'm still pushing the rock up the hill again, thanks to all of you and Charlie Brown.

1 comment:

  1. This is not original but I want to share it with you. When we drive at night, we can only see as far as our headlights illuminate the road. If we needed to see the whole road laid out before us, we'd never leave home. But just seeing as far as those lights and adjusting along the journey gets us there every time.
    Keep shining your light, Tiff!