My Leap List

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Letting Go of Fear

     Even though it is the middle of winter and there haven't been any feathers for weeks, Mandy brought a baby white feather home with her today and gave it to me with a kiss. I knew it was an important day when I got a feather message
      Today I let go of fear.  I have let it control my life for too long.  Some of my fears have come true, but my fear didn't stop them from happening or change the outcome.  I lost decades of time and energy worrying over ones that never came true. Three wise men taught me this lesson today.  I haven't met any of them, but they all sent me the same message in different ways.
     The first man was Yashar Ali.  I do not know him, but he writes a blog that I recently started following.  Today he posted a blog that was unlike any he has ever written before.  This one was personal.  I read it and was blown away by his honesty, his understanding, and compassion.  Today he wrote about being sexually abused and becoming perfect so no one would know he was damaged.  He lived in fear of letting anyone get close to him and finding out his truth.  He could have been writing about me.  He ended the post with the words, "Like that afternoon in October, when I finally let go of everything, and learned how to trust."  You can read Yashar Ali's blog here.   
     The second man was my friend Rich.  We haven't met before, but we became friends through our blogging this summer.  He asked me to read a book he had written a few years ago when he had lost his job.  It is the story of the great things he learned from having the tragedy of losing his job.   I have been thinking about him all day.  I want to be able to face what life has to offer and change the bitter into the brilliant.  
     Tonight, as I was reading to my son, a passage jumped out at me.  We are reading The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan.  
     Leo said, "When a demigod like me comes around, bad things happen.  Really bad."  
     "Maybe it's the other way around," Jason suggested.  "Maybe people with special gifts show up when bad things are happening because that's when they're needed most."
     I used to live my life thinking I caused the people around me to be bad.  I am learning to see that I am more than my past.  I meet amazing people out there doing amazing things, but they think they are ordinary.  I think that makes them even more amazing.  They are the heroes we all need now more than ever.  Today I let go of fear and join them.    

1 comment:

  1. You are a hero Tiffany! What an awesome example you are to people that will read this post, who are in the middle of their own battles. Keep it up. You shall overcome.