My Leap List

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Feather Tattoos

     When I was a teenager I went through a hard time when suicide seemed like the best answer to everything.  When it came to the final moment, I heard a voice ask me what it would feel like to kill myself and then realize there were people here that needed me.  I turned around and no one was behind me, but I'd heard the voice as loudly as if someone was standing next to me.  I turned and started walking down the pier and a white feather fell in front of me.  There wasn't a bird in the sky.  An angel saved me.
     That day I promised God that I would spend the rest of my life serving others in return for being saved.  I still had dark days and sometimes it was so easy to fall into the abyss.  I started noticing random feathers appear where they hadn't been moments before, even in closed buildings.  A message of comfort from my angels.
     When Mandy got older, I told her my story.  She began to collect the feathers she found in her day to bring home to me.  I have quite a collection now.  When she had her own struggles, we would stay connected by walking.  On difficult days we would talk and walk and feathers would appear from nowhere.  I knew we would both be okay because angels were looking over us.
     At 16, Mandy announced she wanted a tattoo.  I was against the idea, but knew if I told her she couldn't do it, she absolutely would.  To buy time, I told her that was a great idea, but legally we had to wait until she was 18.  I even told her that I would get a tattoo with her on her 18th birthday, thinking she would change her mind.
     The funny thing was as time went by, I began to think it was a good idea.  We continued talking about it and imagining all the great tattoos we would get.  During one of our walks I told her, "I have the perfect idea for our tattoo."  Before I could tell her my idea, she said, "A feather."  We both had the same vision of an angel feather.
      As the day got closer, we began to worry about all the what-ifs.  What if it hurts?  What if we hate it when it's done?  What if it hurts?  What if we don't want it on forever?  What if it hurts?  What if people think less of us?  What if it hurts?
     Today we faced all those fears.  We each got an angel feather on opposite shoulders, so together we have angel wings.  No matter where life takes us or how far apart we are, we are connected in another way.  When we feel alone, we only have to glance over our shoulders and see the protection and love of our angels and each other.
     Mandy told Nick he could get a tattoo when he turns 18 so he can be connected to her, too.  He looked at her and said, "But, Mandy, you're my sister.  You're tattooed on my heart."  Angels all though my life.  

1 comment:

  1. great story! Thank you for sharing! Love you guys!