My Leap List

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Reflections of Myself

     Some of the people I love most reflect the best parts of me.  A few minutes with them are magic.  I am suddenly smart and beautiful and kind and everything I forget about myself in my normal world.
      Other people I love show me the worst parts of myself.  The fear, the hurt, the confusion.  The little girl I work so hard to hide.
      I hate the reflections of what I still need to learn.  The little girl who never feels good enough chooses someone to prove it.  Her fear of abandonment leaves her lonely in crowded rooms.  Changing emotional pain to body-wracking physical pain.  Sacrificing herself to save the people she loves from things they don't want to be saved.  Angry no one braves her Fort Knox defenses.  Filling life with so much busy-ness, she never has to see the emptiness.  Passing on broken-ness to the babies.
     I hate the reflections of me, but I am thankful for the people helping me learn.  We truly bring the people we need into our lives to help us learn the lessons we need to learn.  Someday I will finally master them.  
     By the way, life, it's okay if you want to send me some of the people that reflect the best parts of me tomorrow.  

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