My Leap List

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Loving Imperfections

     This week I had to call a woman I have idolized since I was eleven.  She doesn't know that she broke my heart in December.  She doesn't know how hard it was to call her.  I called her with a decision that was very difficult, hoping she would be able to support me and help me see what was best for me.  Instead she presented all the things she had done for me and why I would lose it all.  Once I agreed with what she wanted, she told me how much she loved and cared for me.  It was actually good for me to hear because it taught me a lesson.  The people I love are actually humans.  They make mistakes.  They may not be able to love me perfectly, but they love me the best they can.  I can learn the lessons they teach me, become a better person, and love their imperfections.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Beacon in the Darkness

     On September 11, 2001 I was a scared mom with two little kids wondering why I thought bringing them into this crazy world was a good idea.  Today the worst of times have come around again.  Bombs at the Boston Marathon, a fertilizer plant explosion, mass shootings, parents killing each other and their babies in the name of love...
     My world mirrors the outside world I try to lock outside.  Bitter custody battles, threats, fist fights, and bullying mar my days.  A little boy I love is dying.  A lost seventeen year old boy tries to kill himself and comes so close to getting his wish.
     It is the worst of times, but I am not scared anymore.  I am sad for us.  I am mad for us.  Most of all I am finding all the best humanity has to offer, big and small.  I am believing that we are still worth saving.
     I see people saving the lives of strangers.  I am there in spirit with men risking their lives climbing into an abyss to bring a grieving family the body of their son.  I fall in love with the mother cat who finished nursing her own family and adopted the abandoned kittens at the shelter.  I cheer my daughter's acceptance to college because of the mountains she climbed to get here.  I celebrate the smiles of children and the love you always offer me when I get lost in the dark.
     We are amazing infinity.  The chances of us on a planet that is just right at the right time amazes me. We have such a choice in our lives and our world.  We can focus on all that's wrong in the world, but the darkness is hard to live in for long without becoming what we hate.  We can focus on the love, the light, the goodness, and shine for the others struggling in the dark.  I'm sending my light in the darkness.  If you are lost, let me lead you home.  Rest for a while, and then shine your light with me.  Let us be a beacon for all that is right in the world.