My Leap List

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Letting Go of Superwoman

     The clock is counting down the final days of the year of letting go.  The adventure is far from over.  I am learning to accept what is, instead of always focusing on what isn't.  Life has given me the opportunity to be the support for my family, and I am grateful I have a job I love.  It doesn't pay enough alone, but it helped me find another job I enjoy.  I love giving back to the next generation when I teach ed. classes at night.  
     A few years ago I decided to do something just for me and go back to school to get my doctorate.  Jameson's suicide changed my path to being a principal someday, instead.  In the hard times, my friends and my promise to his memory kept me going.  
     I finished a year and a half ago, but I kept going to school.  The near breakdown this fall made me realize that I am human, no matter how much I pretend otherwise.  I thought a break would help, but it is a deeper lesson than I thought.  It is time to let go.  I have been so busy being superwoman, I almost lost the people that mean the most to me.  Thank you for supporting, loving, and cheering me on through school.  Thank you even more for doing the same as I let go.  

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Celebrating the Light

     Tonight is the longest night of the year.  Darkness leaves late and slips away early before the day has even seem to begun.  My family's depression mirrors the darkness.  It is easy to feel the grayness of the air and the gloom seep into my soul.  The world can be such a dark place to be.  We are the best and the worst of God's creations.
     Today I choose not to succumb to the dark.  I celebrate the beauty of the winter solstice and the return of the light.   When we focus on all the evil in the world, we will find it. It is there hiding in the shadows of all of us, but it is no match for the light.  All of us have a sacred light inside to lead the way for others lost in the darkness.  The world is full of miracles and love, laughter and light, if we look for it.  Seek and ye shall find.  The solstice reminds us that we have survived the darkest moments and the light will return.  Hope lives, even on the shortest day of the year.
    Tonight, on this holy night, light your flame and lead the others home.  

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

No More Excuses

     I have been struggling with my weight since I got Fibromyalgia.  The medicines are rough and exercise usually goes with flare ups.  I keep meaning to do something about it, but I don't.  Today a boy ran away from school and into the neighborhood.  I wasn't able to chase him and make sure he was safe.  Everything ended up being okay because I have a great team, but I never want to feel that way again.  Making sure the kids are safe is too important.  I don't know how I will do this, but I will figure it out.  No more excuses.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

We are in Trouble

     We are in trouble.  When our pain goes so deep we are willing to kill our children, and our children are willing to kill one another, we have lost all hope in our future.  My heart aches on the first anniversary of Sandy Hook Elementary.  Everyone hurt and ranted and raved and blamed each other for another tragedy.  17 people were killed in 22 school shootings this year, including yesterday.  There has been a school shooting almost every two weeks this year and nothing has changed.
      This week safety doors were installed in my school. Now everyone must come through the office before entering the school.  It is designed so the killers have to go through us first.  We are supposed to start practicing with the kids how to hold hands and exit the building after a school shooting occurs.  How do I explain this to my little ones?
     What is our pain that makes us destroy our future?  There are as many answers as there are people.  We need to move past our biases on guns and freedoms and government involvement and all the other things that keep us from looking at the underlying pain so many of us are carrying.  School shootings are just one symptom of the pain.  We all want change, but we all keep hoping someone else will save us.  Superheroes only exist in comic books and movies.  No one is going to save us.  We have to save ourselves.  We have to save each other.  We have to stop finding reasons to hate our differences and love one another in the truest sense.