My Leap List

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Using our Powers for Good

     When Mandy was growing up, I always told her, half-jokingly, to use her powers for good.  It was my way of teaching her to become a woman.  We have amazing powers as women, but it is hard to know how to use them.  There are few role models, and society is quick to jump in and fill the void for us.  Strong women are labeled and belittled.  Choose to be the vamp or the bitch.
     The labels bleed and scar.  The wounded women continue the fight, turning their power outwards, determined to hurt as much as they hurt.  The more timid of us hide our powers becoming submissive to anyone and everything that is not ourselves.  We become disconnected from our own power and stop listening to our internal voices.
     Very few women manage to keep the essence of their power intact.  The power to love, to nurture, to protect, to fight for loved ones, to right the wrongs in society.  The essence of who we are is a gift at birth, but we lose it to the musn'ts, the shoulds, the don'ts, and shame.
      I was thrilled to have a daughter and terrified that I would destroy her.  Evil queens in the fairy tales and all that.  That somehow I would see in her all the things I could have been and let my jealousy win.  Some days I do.  Other days I rise to unknown heights and see what I can be.  She makes me a better woman.
      I admire strong, warrior women who stand up for themselves and the people they love.  I admire their ability to hold people accountable and have difficult conversations.  I choose to surround myself with strong women who hold me accountable to myself.  These women heal me.  They share their strength when I am weakest.  They make me laugh when I forget why I am really here.  They make me better than I am alone.  They remind me to have patience in an evolving world.  Their lights shine bright on stormy seas and beckon us home.  Here is to all the strong women who use their powers for good.  

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Brother Awesome

     Today I attended a funeral for a man I never met, and he became someone I hope to be.  The church was overflowing with people wanting to share their love and respect for him.  Story after story shared his love for people, and the service he gave to everyone in his life.  His brothers and sister spoke of having every one of John's friends introduce themselves as his best friend.  He had a way of truly listening to you and caring about what you said.  He lived by the motto that people were more important than tasks to be done.  So much love and laughter for a man that truly loved everyone and lived life to the fullest.  It's no wonder the young men he mentored call him "brother awesome."

Monday, March 3, 2014


     Today is Jameson's birthday.  He would have been 18 today.  The anniversary hit me unexpectedly.  I miss him so much.
     One of my little guys at work cuddled up against me so I was holding him like a baby.  He told me, "I remember my mom used to rock me.  I like moms rocking me."  I held him, rocked him, and thought of how fragile we all are.