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Saturday, May 10, 2014

Lessons of Love

     I have learned a lot from being married for 25 years. It's hard to admit life isn't perfect, but the beauty is in the cracks.  Kintsugi is a Japanese tradition of mending the cracks in pottery with gold.  I am stronger and more beautiful because of my cracks.  Today I celebrate the breaks, the light, and the gold from a quarter century of love.

  1. You can't always get what you want. But sometimes you get even more than you hoped.
  2. Love is unique.  If you try to compare your love to someone else's, it will always come up short, but their love will always come up short to yours.
  3. You can love and hate someone at the same time.
  4. Love doesn't keep life from stomping in, but it can lead you home again.
  5. Love burns hot and freezes cold.  Both destroy you if left uncontrolled.
  6. It's okay that you don't have the same love you did at the beginning.   
  7. Sometimes you have to be quiet.  Even when you are REALLY, REALLY RIGHT!  
  8. The person you love most can hurt you the most.
  9. You really can feel your heart physically break.
  10. Sometimes you have to do what is best for the person you love, even if it hurts you.  Even if it hurts a lot.
  11. Don't measure how much someone loves you by how well they read your mind.
  12. Focus on what is right instead of what is wrong.  Love is imperfect.  You will always find what you look for because they are both there.
  13. If you give everyone else all the best parts of you, you won't have anything left when you get home.
  14. If you keep score, you both lose.
  15. Trust your intuition.  
  16. Some things can't be fixed with apologies, but say them anyway.
  17. You can love more than one person at the same time.
  18. Love can stretch enough to let you both have different friends and interests.  
  19. Love can heal places you didn't even know were broken.
  20. Love makes you brave enough to do things you never thought you could do.
  21. Jealousy will kill you.  There is a reason it is called a green-eyes "monster."
  22. It's the little things you do all the time that make the biggest differences.  Don't wait for the big gestures.
  23. Even though he loves you no matter what, you should let him see you at your best sometimes, not just your worst.
  24. Forever is a really long time.  It's a good idea to have a friend with you, not just a lover.
  25. No matter how dark it gets, the light always returns.  

I never knew the boy I met in French class 30 years ago would become my best friend, the dad to our two kids, and see me through the best and worst moments of my life.  Love is beautiful, cracks and all.

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