My Leap List

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mom Lessons

     I was convinced being a mom wouldn't change anything.  Like adding one more person to the mix was no big deal.  Cosmic humor made sure nothing in my life stayed the same.  Other moms had it all together, and I felt like the worst mom ever.  I didn't know we all pretend we are fine because everyone else is pretending to be fine, and none of us wants to be the first to admit we are anything but fine.  When my daughter was a few months old, I started writing her letters.  I decided from the start that I would tell her the true story.  The good, the bad, the ugly, or so the saying goes.  I didn't want her to become a mom and feel as alone as I felt.  I wanted her to know that everything she was going through really was fine, not the pretend fine.  These are some of the highlights and lowlights.
  1. You will end up doing all of the things you swore you would never do.  Sorry to all those moms I judged before I had kids. 
  2. Your heart can actually expand and love each baby just as much as the one before.
  3. Turns out you may have a Jekyll and Hyde personality that is dormant until you have kids.  You can be the most reasonable, polite person... until someone hurts your child.  
  4. You will hide in the bathroom so you can have 5 minutes by yourself.
  5. The word "mom" is the best word in the world, but there are days when they whine it so many times, you will want to change your name.
  6. They are not mini-you's, even at the start.  
  7. When I was a kid, there was a commercial with a lady in a dress and high heels cooking bacon while singing, "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man."  Turns out you can have it all, but you have to redefine your "all."
  8. You will cry when they get shots, broken hearts, and feel jaded with life.
  9. You will be more tired than you ever thought possible, but you will still jump up in the middle of the night when they need you.
  10. Most of the time you are winging it, and you will make mistakes. You just hope the words you say and the things you do in the important moments help more than harm.
  11. Babies smell good.  
  12. You might not mean to, but somehow along the way, you will create a vision of their futures.  You have to mourn that loss, and let them create their own versions.
  13. You can't have an ego and still sing, dance, run through sprinklers, or have lightsaber fights.
  14. When your kids think you are beautiful just the way you are, you stop judging yourself so harshly.
  15. You will learn unconditional love from the way they love you.  
  16. You will begin to see magic in everything when you see it through their eyes.
  17. Just when you think you have it down, another baby comes, and everything changes again.  
  18. You will be the only one bored watching the same movie over and over again.
  19. Time changes as a mom.  Days seem to last forever at the beginning and then you blink and they are all grown up.  
  20. It is worth every single hard thing because they will be the best part of you.
Happy Mother's Day

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