My Leap List

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Seeing Through Another's Eyes

     We all want to know that we matter to someone in the world.  Without that weight, we float through life trying to find something to anchor us to the world, a reason to live, a reason to care.  I have been weightless and I have been anchored so tight I felt like I would drown saving everyone else.  Writing saves me, every time.  I write for my sanity.  It gives me a voice when I lose mine in the crowd.  It gives me perspective so I can open my mind to other people's realities.  It lets me share my stories that feel too overwhelming to say out loud, like the sound would make them more real and not just things I can push out of my mind.
     It's ironic that I write a blog, but I forget that other people read it.  It could be private, but I made a promise to my daughter when she was born that I would be always be honest with her.  Not just honest to her or with her, but honest in who I am for her.  All my imperfections, fears, challenges, and triumphs.  Writing a blog makes me accountable in a way writing in my journal didn't always do.
     Today I had to say goodbye to the people I love at school.  Everyone was so kind.  They gave me presents, hugs, and lots of love.  But my greatest gift was from a new friend who told me what a difference I have made in her life because of my blog.  There is something amazing about seeing yourself through someone else's eyes.  Usually I minimize compliments and push the attention to something else.  Today I thought of the joy I feel when I am able to share what people mean to me and the difference they make in my life.  I forced myself to stay still and appreciate the moment.  To know my honesty and my words give strength to someone else is a precious gift.  I am honored and humbled for the gift.  She says she looks for feathers and never finds them.  She doesn't know she is always the angel feather in my life.  She has given me a gift I can never repay.    

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