My Leap List

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

     This cute boy is my Nick in happier days.  If you have never had to deal with anxiety, you can't imagine how destructive it can be to the person in its grasp.  I was one of the lucky ones that thought it was just mildly uncomfortable until I saw it sucking the life out of my son.            Over the years Nick has become a shell of himself.  He rarely leaves the house, even when it is something he wants to desperately attend.  The anxiety is so intense, it has caused him to hallucinate scary things that aren't real.  This started in 5th grade when he started seeing "blue" kids in his class that no one else could see.  Today they are horrific things that get inside our home and tell him horrible things.  He tries everything to keep them away, but even the medication can't touch it; yet.  It got so bad last week, he shut down and a new personality came out to talk to us.  His name is Alex.  He is scared for my Nick.      Nick went to his psychiatrist today who said that the anxiety is much more serious than she thought.  She still thinks the anxiety is the cause of the hallucinations.  It's a strange thing to pray that she is right and that the increased medication will help.  I am praying for the strength to deal with the possibility of schizophrenia or split personality disorder.  I am also praying for the strength to be whatever I can be for him and not let my emotions cause him more harm.  I am grateful for the doctor, for all of you sending prayers and love on his behalf, and that for some reason God chose me to have such a beautiful spirit in my life.  I am truly blessed.  

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